HmMmM???

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-08-01T10:31:00

2004-08-01T17:34:37Z

again, i haven't been on LJ for a real long time. life outta school will be fun. i can't wait till im outta high school.. but then.. wats after that?? whats next?? im not sure what im going to do. i know what i WANT to do, but thats not good enough ohh well. ?? ok .. im done..

+ - sigh -+

2004-06-15T06:38:43Z

well im writing again today. so far summer has been great. but there are a lot of down falls right now in my life that i need to and want to fix. first of all i want to know why he.. ( will ) hasn't written back to me.. and with all of the stuff i sent him.. (well not all) but the letter i sent to him and the pictures that i sent to him from prom. i want to know y he shunned me outta his life and doesn't want to give me answers, after all i didn't do n e thing to him. another thing is my appearence.. anouther thing is me not having money. i want to have money so i can do what i want with it and save up 4 a car. ( the shag is done.)... i also worried about summershcool. im not sure if i can get in or not. and i want to b cuz im missing 5 credits... the onlee thing that im worried about is me not makin up thoes credits.. and if i don't make em up.. i don't walk. (graduation).. but see im not behind n e school.. im juss being worried. i also want someone in my life rite now. i remember how happy i was at prom and how i was glowing and stuff. i loved being wanted. and now, i feel lost. WTF ..... wut ev... i guess that i again will have to wait it out.

used...

2004-06-05T07:49:38Z

ok .. so lemme get you cought up on what has happended since my prom.. a week later i went to wills prom../ senior ball.. and it was fun! i saw some of the girls from CV.. and they were cool. although it was awkward 4 the captian of their guard to sit right next to me at dinner.. but o well emm.. after me and will kinda fell apart from there.. i went to Florida and kinda missed him there.. and then i came home and then he started ignoring me. i deceied to break it off with him. he called me back telling me he needed to talk to me. he then complained about how he wanted to forget school and he started crying b cuz it was too much. he said that he hasn't concentrated on him in a while. and we had planned to do something that saturday. and wen i called him on friday he said" i want more mee time" and then i havent heard from him since. i feel like i have fucked shit up with me and him. i also feel like i was used as a prom date. and like he was putting up a front with me .. and being someone that he wasn't. i also feel like i wasted my time.. getting to know someone who i cared about. and i was so fucking happy with him and everyone saw it. i just want to be happy like that again. i want someone to glow about. i want someone to be happy with .. i feel like i fucked shit up with him ... i feel soo fucking used.. what should i do???

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-05-09T18:05:00

2004-05-10T01:06:23Z

so i took a quiz and this is what it said...

PASSIONATE LOVER. You love to love, always looking for a relationship. You cannot live without it. Your lover must be passionate and you want that you and your partner melt into each other. He/She should not try to take the domination . You dont want a relationship without passion, and the sexuality plays a big part. The first moment you meet him/her is one of the most important. There has to be something between you , you cannot explain. From the first moment on everything must fix. But when this passion disappears you disappear to. For you it is better to leave than to see your love restrained.

prom

2004-05-03T05:18:35Z

soo prom was last nite.. it was fun! i had the best time. will was my date to prom and i think he had a good time. we danced and stuff, and we kissed .. on the last song.. **tehe**.... **gIiGgLiNg** and it was great... he looked soo good and im excited to go to his prom too, although, im afraid that the ppl there that are in guard, hate me.. b cuz of the rivalry thing.. my thing is .. GUARD IS OVER. soo lets move on. lol.. but wut ev.. hopefully his friends wont hate me. the next day after that, i have a band review. then i have to race over to wells and see my gurls preform. ahh .. crazy!, at prom, there was NO drama!! i was sooo happy!. i finally got to see gyna dance!! woot woot!! and i think everyone looked great especially Will!.. lol .. n e wayz.. im off to bed!!!

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-04-24T15:37:00

2004-04-24T22:43:43Z

soo its saturday and ive been cleaning all day!! .. ewww but the bright side is that imma have a "date" with Will tonite.. we are gunna go to the movies .. YAY!! IM REALLY EXCITED ! soo yea i have to work on 2 projects in a day.. one for spanish and one for history!! gerrr we had another gulrs nite out but it was kinda not fun b cuz everyone including me.. was very bitchy!!! .. caitlin was sick and yea.. it was kinda confusing.. im sooo happy that i met Will.. he is sooo sweet and caring!!! .. k imma go

look at that....

2004-04-13T07:39:40Z

wow .. so its been a while since i have last posted. its spring break and what am i doing?? NUTHIN!!soo lemme give u a run down on what has been happeining. on friday, some of the gurls went up to the hill and juss had a gurls nite.. (gurls = me jackie, gyna jenni caitlin and kelsey)we decieded to make it a ritual and go up there almost every other weekend. so n e ways .. we were up there juss chillin and the boyz come and take a visit. (the boys = tom and tyler) they come and visit and blah blah blah.. it was fun. then i had practice on saturday from 10- 6.. (almost didn't survive that one)and almost died.after practice me gyna,caitlin and jackie go to a "party" to see jackies "friend" o0o0o0 then we leave to visit josh and nicole.then i go home.. yay .. NEXT DAY ... its easter and im with my aunt and uncle and cousins. great time..!!! NEXT DAY its monday and had practice again from 5-9... it was cool b cuz every hour the lights shut off.... after practice, i went to the movies with ashley,nicole and brandon... ( Not Parkey) and it was fun .. and now i have to pack for SAN DIEGO!!! woot woot.. NATIONALS!! CAN'T WAIT!! (yes i can) lol

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-04-05T21:33:00

2004-04-06T05:15:28Z

soo my mom said that can get my nose peirced. yay! im really happy.. i think imma get it done a week after guard!!! i can't wait.. soo lets see whats goin on in my life. well ... prom situations are good. juss have to get the limo thing goin on, then after prom, find a date .. then a dress.. FUN!!!! lol ..today i went out to lunch with gyna and caitlin and nicole, and we were talking about friends. me and gyna have been best friends since kindergarden. mee and caitlin have been best friends since i was in preschool. kelsey hess and i have been friends since we were in 2nd grade. it makes me happy to know that i have my friends that will always be by my side. and there are the new friends that i juss met, sara,like nicole, kaite, jenni( well we went to fred together but didn't know eachother) and manny and cola and jackie Nikki and all of my sistas in guard. there are of course the ones that i met thru guard like ppl from diff schools. ! i have come to the point where i very content with the friends i have. thankx guyz .. luv ya!!

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-04-03T20:04:00

2004-04-04T04:15:55Z

so today was good.. i had practice from 1-4.. with onel and kim.. (very stress free) then tonite imma go midnite bowling.. with kim and nicki .. and nick and chris.. and ppls from nickis work .. and kims friends and caitlin and grls from guard. its gunna cool. last nite i went with brittany and steph to go and look 4 prom dresses.. .. did i find the one i wanted.. NOPE its cool tho..( raises hand) Story !! soo once upon a time there was fat gurl.... nvm... well sadies was last nite.. did i go .. NO y? its re-dickless.. lol tehe well im tryin to think of shit to say . but ireally can't .. all i have to say is .... lol.. NUTHIN.. haha.. wow i juss intertained myself. im hella dumb... soo did i tell u.. im moving.. to richmond virginia.. !!!! this sucks .. hey guess what ...i was onlee kiddin... im not leavin this peice ass town.. lol.. i juss thought it was funny imma bitch and aint it funny???

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-04-02T21:37:00

2004-04-03T05:55:33Z

hmmm .. im home and im great.. i didn't want to go to the dance b cuz they are dum.. i went to look 4 prom dresses, all too ugly or i already have something like it .. and i have practice at 1.. ( yay) .. i think imma find some trouble to get in. but wait .. i think it was funny b cuz yesterday was april fools.. huh.. lol... tehe.. ok ..n e wayz now that thats over... NEXT~~ matt called me last night at the buttcrack of dawn. it was random too ... he told me that he will call meeh to night. lol .. it was cool tho b cuz i knew who it was when i was sleepin .. n e wayz NEXT.. so my best friend ( none of u know) got pregnant and had her baby. she had it pre mature ( 3 months).. and almost died. i was kinda sad. but she is ok now... i wanna go down to see her.. but where is the time.

still .. my rents are fighting.. my brother is too busy to talk to me.. and yea.. life is..well.... life..... my friends and i are slowly deteriating.. ( or how ever u want to spell it) and the funny part is.. i knew it was commin.. guyz... u have to admit.. we aren't as good as friends n e more.. i guess wen we all get older.. we juss break apart. i remember when we all used 2 be close.. and said.. " i want a picture with all of us at the table" so now that our personalities changed... minds and feelings have grown, we did too.. and when the favorite word, "drama" comes in to play i now juss laugh. drama isn't drama untill n e one has gone thru what we have in the last couple of years. sigh.. NOW THAT I HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK .. im out.. im sry if yall got mad.. but i usally get over my lil "bitch modes" the next day.. so juss brush it off.. i have.. ( i was venting) i don't care n e more.. ( u kno what i mean!!)

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-04-01T22:40:00

2004-04-02T06:43:44Z

great well i found out that some of my "friends" egged my car a while back .. thankx guyz for being friends. i really can't believe u ppl would stoop soo low. you guyz are immature and should learn how respecct other ppls shit..k? other than that.. IM FINE!

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-03-30T22:50:00

2004-03-31T06:54:40Z

im very scared at this point. i feel as though my parents are going to get a divorce. they haven't been talking for a while. my brother has blownme off since his birthday. my "aquaintences" are afraid of me talking shit about some of them.. ( im not and havent) and im worried about what ppl think when they see me. i have this fear of rejection and something dramatic is going to happen to my family in the next 4 months..im not sure what, but im afraid. i want a tattoo, but im afraid of it. i want my nose pierced..too well im done bitching 4 now... now i can say im bitchy!!!

HaHa.. misunderstanding.. no need 4 yelling..

2004-03-29T08:44:41Z

im not tryin piss u off ash.. but im juss here 4 someone to talk to .. really tho .. its btwn .. yall kno wut its btwn.. but serioulsy .. soo much attitude from everyone.. like i said b 4.. im juss here 4 someone to talk to.. AND.... i have gotten soo much attitude from everyone... lately .. and i haven't done n e thing... i mean omgeez... im not even in ur guyz group.. and im still gettin ish.. from "whos talkin bout hoo..." and ur rite.. mabey i dont kno n e thing about whats goin on... but 4 one thing i do kno .. its not worth loosing friends over. :/ n e wayz.. shit thats goin on with my brother is fucked up.. he will tell me one thing and the next .. hes like .. WUT EV!!!! guard is goin good.. (rellie good) and meeh personally .. juss tryin to get thru this year.. i think 4 prom .. meeh jackie.. jennifer.. gyna.. and jenni are gunna get a limo.. b cuz we have NO idea whats goin on 4 prom..or.. mabey if i juss not go.. last year was kinda boring.. and i will go senior year. sigh.. guess what..(what..) i dunno ..lol.. im talkin to myself.. i think thats funny .. im out ..

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-03-26T19:53:00

2004-03-27T04:21:50Z

OMGosh.. well im starin at my computer screen and i don't know why. i feel like ... poop.. i dunno y.. but its killin me. im serioulsy slackin in school.. i have 4 Cs an A and a B.. thats terrible.. my rents are gunna kill me.. my term paper is due on monday.. and there is a massive drama thing with prom.. its rediculous.. i thought i was invited to go with a group, but i guess im not so jackie myself and some other ppl are gunna get another limo and share it with others. its gunna b good b cuz hopefully there wont be unecesary drama.. but thats what i think.. i feel bad 4 gyna b cuz she is getting talked about by her friends and being called names behind her back. she doesn;t deserve it but there is nothing i can do. and there is nothing she can do .. im proud of her tho.. she is really strong.. i lovya gyna!!!

yawn

2004-03-25T16:45:06Z

ok .. so im in first period at school .. and its great.. i love the fact that almost all of the girls are on LJ.. its great.. umm yea.. soo there is no wurd.. on guy # 1 and guy #2.. lol.. it was funny .. jackie thought i was talking about josh as one of my guys. lol EWWWW.. soo yea today i will be teachin at wells with the girls.. i can't wait.... n e ways imgunna go .. adios...

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-03-24T22:29:00

2004-03-25T06:32:51Z

its great.. i have been working on my term paper now for an hour.. and its onlee 1 freakin pge.. its ok tho .. i love the fact that im totally procrastinating. omg i had this dream about my guy # 1.. ( im crushin on 2 at the moment.. ) soo mee and him went to prom together.. and he looked really cute. **tehe** and we danced all nite long and it was great.. then ..my DREAM TRUCK rolls up .. ( dodge ram 1500, 2002, with a hemi engine.. color: black with royal blue sparkles in it. ahhh ) ... soo yea.. we hop in my whip and guess who # 1 turns into... yea thats right.. USHER.... soo we make sweet love (AHHH).. and then he turns back to # 1 again.. then he asked me to marry him .. and i said yes.. and then i woke up to him playing in my CD stereo.. omg.. that man ( usher) is hott... n e ways i think imma do it.. ask # 1 to prom.. athough i have NO BALLS to do so.. i like think i like him... well .. umm i really need a guy right now.. it kinda makes me mad how .. jackie can get all of these guyz.. and meet guyz soo easily .. and me.. its impossible.. they care too much what they look like on the outside and not in the inside... ( im contadicting myslef.... WUT EV!!!) BUT YEA.. i want a guy who's first love is god.. second is music and third love is life. honestly i know i dont have the best body in the world. but what god gave me is what i have to deal with. im kinda excited to know who my first true love will be. and what will happen to it.. i never know!!

SiGh

2004-03-24T23:52:41Z

omg.. guess what...( wut tiff...) well i say u kno hoo today .. and of course my heart dropped.. lol woot woot.. i found out that he broke up with his g/f..but thats kinda sad.. but yea.. i was kinda happy b cuz of that.. n e hoo.. i saw the other him today .. i was kinda happy .. but i feel like im hidin somethin from him ..i don't like the fact that this kinda stuff has to happen. i love him do death but im kinda mad b cuz i know he is hidin some more serious stuff from me. it feels like he is a compulsive liar but i dunno.
in english today .. we are reading the crucible and i was mercy. mercy is a servant girl who is fat... hmm sounds like me.. ( black..... fat... hmmmm) ** scratches head.. **
and this somehow turns it self around askin the questions.. why not meeh???when is it my turn. GERRRRRRRR

babi_grl2426 @ 2004-03-23T22:08:00

2004-03-24T06:15:43Z

well today is another day. the usher Cd is GREAT. he is soo hott .. its great.. umm soo it seems as though everyone is gettin that "springtime love." tell me .. when is it my turn?? i mean it sounds tardy .. but im 16 now.. and i got my first kiss earlier this year.. and the dude was drunk.. NOT COOL... but we wont get into that..lol.. yea.. prom is comming up.. WOOT WOOT.. conditioning 4 that should be fun!!.. guard is comming to an end. its kinda sad b cuz no one else is gunna be joining it after this year. but i dunno .. i think its time that i need to re- evaluate my slef.i dunno how but i need to. i really need to start to focus on myslef and school. unfortunatly.. im at a C average.. but i need to stop slackin.. i saw the gurls today at wells( i teach colorguard...) they seem that they were doin really good. imma probably write later 2 nite.. term paper.

sNoRiNg

2004-03-23T07:32:28Z

so im really tired but im again not sure if i want to go to bed. my heavy eyelids are comming to a close with every word i type. i am really happy for tomorrow because usher's new CD is comming out. and im gunna get it at lunch time.. YAY!! I CAN'T WAIT. tower doesn't open intill 10 so imma by the CD woot woot.. soo does n e hate when you have something on your mind and cant get off of it. like BOYZ i always seem to get screwed over by most of them. and i don't like it. it makes me sad sometimes. boys hurt they are poopy brains.. athough im still lookin 4 one.. lol.. but prolly not gunna get one n e thime soon.. ok imma go now b cuase im typing with my eyes closed because im falling a sleep. GERR.. ok .. nighty night.. luv ya!!

wut iz??

2004-03-23T06:03:37Z

well im kinda thinkin of askin someone to prom.. but .. im afraid he will say nope.. see i have this thing called the fear of rejection...but i don't kno if i have feelings for him yet.. its too early to tell.. but on another happier note, the quarter ends next week.. then one more quarter THEN SUMMER!!.. ehh but then there is summer school. WUT EV!! umm
today in guard, we had a lil crying bonding time .. it was great.
at lunch i went to mandrian with gyna, ashiee, jimmy, jackie,kevie and cory.. it was fun .. watching me scarf down my chow main in .35 secondswas "muy interesante "
.. lol.. it was great. ok .. imma write later..

Wuv EV

2004-03-22T06:32:31Z

well its sunday and im kinda bored. we hosted a show(dublin) on saturday. it went pretty well except for a small lil thing.. our director decided to have our DRUM MAJOR hand our awards instead of the guard..she isn't in guard OR percussion Gerrr .... i got kinda pissed there.. we got second, not bad, but i liked the fact that our biggest competitor came and watched us, it was great... but i thought we did pretty good, others didn't. and 3rd, none of my friends came to the show.. some of them decieded to go and get drunk. soo WUT EV!! .... today was alrite, i got to go shoppin with my mom. she kinda got on my nerves a bit but o well .. i still love her.. i was attemptin to do my term paper, but im procrastinating.. (0o0o0 big word ..2 points).. hey look theres a bug..